For a good majority of my life, I was bound and determined to become a pharmacist. I thought it was the perfect job for me. I worked at a pharmacy in high school and loved it, and I thought the subject matter was fascinating. I also knew that I would go crazy if my job didn't include helping people. However, I knew I couldn't handle being a nurse or a doctor. Let me tell you, if someone walks into a room I'm in with their bone sticking out, ain't no way I'm handling that! I just wanted to give people their drugs and try and make their lives easier.
I was the perfect candidate for my pharmacy school. (Well, granted not perfect, but everyone thought I was!) Good grades, involved, passion, personable, and driven. When the time came for me to submit my application for the professional program at my school, I blew through the essay and interview process no problem, and was accepted into the next year's pharmacy program.
However, I was never sure if that's where God wanted me. Before I got into the program, I made a bargain with God. (Smart move, right? Not exactly how God works.) I told Him that if He didn't want me to be a pharmacist, then He should not let me get into the program and I would pursue a different career path. So when I got in, I took it as a sign that I was meant to be there and pushed on in my studies.
School very quickly became very difficult for me. The course load was insane. I always loved science and chemistry, but I was never terribly quick at learning it. Therefore, with five insanely hard classes that required constant studying that I was no where near used to. I quickly became a walking zombie, having never gotten enough sleep, and barely taking care of myself. I became angry at God, not understanding where His plan was in my mess of a life.
It became clear to me that I was not going to do well in pharmacy school. In fact, I wasn't even sure I'd pass the first semester. When finals rolled around, I was a wreck. My grades were in the toilet, and my hair had never been so unkempt in my life before.
Sure enough, a week later, grades were posted, and I was no longer allowed to continue in the program since I had to keep up certain grades but couldn't during that first semester. I remember I was having dinner with a dear friend of mine when I got the news, and I just busted out laughing. For some reason, I was in denial about how much I no longer wanted to be a pharmacist but was scared of telling people, letting people down, and having others assume I was a failure.
But then, after a few weeks, the anger at God returned when I remembered my deal with Him. Why would he let me get in, do an entire semester of schooling, take the spot of someone else who perhaps deserved it more than I, and let me think I was a failure all semester?
How wrong was I! I came to realize that God wanted me in pharmacy school for that semester, but He didn't want me to be a pharmacist. So many good things have come from doing that one semester, and I realize that I wouldn't be where I am now without the path I took to get here.
I am now going to school to teach high school biology, and I have never been happier! I know God laid this out perfectly for me, and I'm so thankful to Him because of it. I know that He worked through those times when I felt like a failure to not only help myself in later times, but friends struggling with the same issues, as well. God always has so much to teach me, and it blows my mind when His plan is revealed!
Being human, I just want to see the small picture, the here and now, and have the best tunnel vision the world has ever known. However, I need to put my faith in Christ, and let Him lead the way. Let's be honest, at least He knows a way! On my own, I'm like a lost little girl wandering through the forest. And the way of God will always be more perfect and better than I have ever even dreamt of. I love that about Him :)
Many blessings,
ChristianKid
Monday, January 6, 2014
The Shack
I just finished reading a book today entitled, The Shack. I won't give anything about this book away, but I want to really encourage you all to read it! No matter where you are on your faith journey, I promise you, this book will rock you to your core. I cried numerous times reading it, and wrestled through a lot of my own issues with my faith while reading it. God is just so glorious, and His perfect purposes are revealed in a whole new light that makes a lot more sense to my tiny brain now.
The book really focuses a lot on the relational aspect of your walk with God, something I definitely suck at. We get so caught up in the fact that we feel we need to do certain things or act certain ways to be considered holy, Christian people. WRONG. Christ did not come to die on the cross so that we could all judge each other by whether or not we are late to church (if we go at all - especially since it was -20 degrees all day today!), how we act with our friends, how much we volunteer, or how well we pray in public, just to name a few. Christ died so that we become a new creation, reunited with our heavenly Father once more, tearing the veil for good. Christ died so that we may experience unconditional, agape love, something I don't think our human minds will ever be able to comprehend.
Lots of times I am scared to talk to God. Sometimes I feel guilty that I haven't talked to Him in awhile, and I don't want to be scolded. Sometimes I did something I feel ashamed of, and I don't want to be punished. But most times I am scared to pray because I fear what comes if my faith gets too big. Like if I trust God too much, He will give me a trial where I lose someone I love, or something else really terrible. Speaking from my overly logical, analytical brain, it's a ridiculous statement, but my heart is terrified of it. However, God does not give us trials. He simply works through them. Whether or not we go through trials has nothing to do with where our faith is. Many people who have no faith at all go through unimaginable horrors, so the fact that I have faith makes those odds no different from theirs. In Christ, though, I am given the chance to see His plan work through those hard times, a chance to have the best person EVER to rely on to help me through, and a chance to have someone who will never leave me nor forsake me through something like that, no matter how mental I become after said trial. Looking at it from that perspective, I'd say that's pretty darn cool :)
Don't let your earthly fears keep you from having a better relationship with Christ! The devil is quite cunning in that regard.
Blessings,
ChristianKid
The book really focuses a lot on the relational aspect of your walk with God, something I definitely suck at. We get so caught up in the fact that we feel we need to do certain things or act certain ways to be considered holy, Christian people. WRONG. Christ did not come to die on the cross so that we could all judge each other by whether or not we are late to church (if we go at all - especially since it was -20 degrees all day today!), how we act with our friends, how much we volunteer, or how well we pray in public, just to name a few. Christ died so that we become a new creation, reunited with our heavenly Father once more, tearing the veil for good. Christ died so that we may experience unconditional, agape love, something I don't think our human minds will ever be able to comprehend.
Lots of times I am scared to talk to God. Sometimes I feel guilty that I haven't talked to Him in awhile, and I don't want to be scolded. Sometimes I did something I feel ashamed of, and I don't want to be punished. But most times I am scared to pray because I fear what comes if my faith gets too big. Like if I trust God too much, He will give me a trial where I lose someone I love, or something else really terrible. Speaking from my overly logical, analytical brain, it's a ridiculous statement, but my heart is terrified of it. However, God does not give us trials. He simply works through them. Whether or not we go through trials has nothing to do with where our faith is. Many people who have no faith at all go through unimaginable horrors, so the fact that I have faith makes those odds no different from theirs. In Christ, though, I am given the chance to see His plan work through those hard times, a chance to have the best person EVER to rely on to help me through, and a chance to have someone who will never leave me nor forsake me through something like that, no matter how mental I become after said trial. Looking at it from that perspective, I'd say that's pretty darn cool :)
Don't let your earthly fears keep you from having a better relationship with Christ! The devil is quite cunning in that regard.
Blessings,
ChristianKid
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Evolution of Beauty
So, I'm in the Black Hills of South Dakota this weekend skiing. It is so incredibly beautiful up here! I'm so used to everything being flat, which is neat in its own way, but seeing mountains and such just shows me just how majestic our God is - just like a mountain.
Looking out over the hills while standing at the top of the peak, I was only reminded of one thing. I often think that God's almighty power is shown through beauty around us. I like to think that the concept of finding things beautiful trumps the concept of evolution. Think about it: what evolutionary purpose is there for beauty? Not just attractiveness, but true beauty. The kind of beauty that makes you stop and ponder life and be filled with a sense of awe.
Maybe it's just because it's late and I'm exhausted, but the concept of beauty is just fascinating to me. To me it's just baffling that someone can look at the amazing things in this world that are so beautiful and think that happened without a Creator.
I admit I've had my doubts about God's continued existence after creation, but I've never doubted that He created the world. Maybe that's just me.
Blessings,
ChristianKid
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
God's Plan
We all have plans for our life up to a certain point, right? Some of us are more obsessive and controlling of our plans than others (you're not thinking of me, right?), but to some degree we all enjoy control. We're humans, it is in our nature to be control freaks.
However, God calls us to be things that we are not born being like. We are born judgemental, God calls us to be all-loving. We are born wanting money, God calls us to give it all away. We are born control freaks, and God calls us to trust Him. If we don't, then what is it truly that Jesus died for? A free ticket out of hell? Jesus did die to forgive us of sins, but that does not mean we can continue living in a sinful nature. We as Christians are born anew, cleaned white as snow. So take that clean slate and live a fantastic life for Christ with it!
Recently, I've had some major alterations to my plan. I've had this plan for many, many years and couldn't imagine myself anywhere else. However, God has shown me that He has better plans for me than I have for myself. Although He's taken me out of my current plan, He hasn't shown me His new plan just yet. I guess this is where it comes time to practice what I preach and trust Him! I'm excited but also nervous for this new chapter in my life.
Many times I have heard and asked myself, "What does God truly want to do with your life? If you completely submitted to Him, where would you find yourself?" Then that leads to questions like, "Why don't you submit? What are you afraid of?"
Challenge: join me in submitting completely and seeing where this new road takes us - I'll be excited to see where your road took you!
God Bless,
ChristianKid
However, God calls us to be things that we are not born being like. We are born judgemental, God calls us to be all-loving. We are born wanting money, God calls us to give it all away. We are born control freaks, and God calls us to trust Him. If we don't, then what is it truly that Jesus died for? A free ticket out of hell? Jesus did die to forgive us of sins, but that does not mean we can continue living in a sinful nature. We as Christians are born anew, cleaned white as snow. So take that clean slate and live a fantastic life for Christ with it!
Recently, I've had some major alterations to my plan. I've had this plan for many, many years and couldn't imagine myself anywhere else. However, God has shown me that He has better plans for me than I have for myself. Although He's taken me out of my current plan, He hasn't shown me His new plan just yet. I guess this is where it comes time to practice what I preach and trust Him! I'm excited but also nervous for this new chapter in my life.
Many times I have heard and asked myself, "What does God truly want to do with your life? If you completely submitted to Him, where would you find yourself?" Then that leads to questions like, "Why don't you submit? What are you afraid of?"
Challenge: join me in submitting completely and seeing where this new road takes us - I'll be excited to see where your road took you!
God Bless,
ChristianKid
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Being God Ambitious
Today's society is all about the self. Too many people live their lives with the motto, "whoever dies with the most toys wins." Most people don't like to admit they live their lives like that, but everyone does it at some point. At the end of the day, are you living for yourself or for something much bigger than just you?
We live in a world consumed by money. We think money can get us anything and everything in life. All we do and work for is money. And we are never satisfied with how much we have. We always want more. We go to school, go to college, get a degree, get competitive interships and ultimately the right job on which to build a foundation for a stellar career. But unfortunately, many times the sacrifice to have all this money is incredible.
Our families suffer because parents are out working and not home when they need to be. Relationships suffer due to the constant stress of making money. Marriages fall apart from lack of effort and time spent together. What is it we are really working for?
Money is a way to define ourselves. If we fail at making money, we fail at being good human beings. Really we have no other absolute definition for ourselves. In other things like marriages, families, service, etc., we can make up excuses or twist our definitions of success in those areas to make it seem like we are still successful in life.
But money is not a way to define ourselves. God does not define us by our monetary earnings, thank goodness. Our only definition by how "good" we are as humans is not anything that we do. We are defined by what Christ has done for us.
So with this I challenge you to be God Ambitious rather than Career Ambitious. And if your career ends up being successful along the way, to God be the glory. God has given you so much that you can use for His glory and His Kingdom. No thing is too small or useless. No human is too young or old or shy or bold. No one is too insignificant to bring glory to God's Kingdom.
"I despaired at the thought that my life might slip by without seeing God show Himself mightily on our behalf." Jim Cymbala, from Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire
I can't stand the thought of just living my life just going through the motions. We all have a purpose on this earth - to further the Kingdom of God and spread the Word of His unfailing love. What has God put into your life that He intends for you to use to be His disciple?
The answer is everything.
God Bless!
ChristianKid
(This blog is linked to Spiritual Sundays - http://bloggerspirit.blogspot.com/)
We live in a world consumed by money. We think money can get us anything and everything in life. All we do and work for is money. And we are never satisfied with how much we have. We always want more. We go to school, go to college, get a degree, get competitive interships and ultimately the right job on which to build a foundation for a stellar career. But unfortunately, many times the sacrifice to have all this money is incredible.
Our families suffer because parents are out working and not home when they need to be. Relationships suffer due to the constant stress of making money. Marriages fall apart from lack of effort and time spent together. What is it we are really working for?
Money is a way to define ourselves. If we fail at making money, we fail at being good human beings. Really we have no other absolute definition for ourselves. In other things like marriages, families, service, etc., we can make up excuses or twist our definitions of success in those areas to make it seem like we are still successful in life.
But money is not a way to define ourselves. God does not define us by our monetary earnings, thank goodness. Our only definition by how "good" we are as humans is not anything that we do. We are defined by what Christ has done for us.
So with this I challenge you to be God Ambitious rather than Career Ambitious. And if your career ends up being successful along the way, to God be the glory. God has given you so much that you can use for His glory and His Kingdom. No thing is too small or useless. No human is too young or old or shy or bold. No one is too insignificant to bring glory to God's Kingdom.
"I despaired at the thought that my life might slip by without seeing God show Himself mightily on our behalf." Jim Cymbala, from Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire
I can't stand the thought of just living my life just going through the motions. We all have a purpose on this earth - to further the Kingdom of God and spread the Word of His unfailing love. What has God put into your life that He intends for you to use to be His disciple?
The answer is everything.
God Bless!
ChristianKid
(This blog is linked to Spiritual Sundays - http://bloggerspirit.blogspot.com/)
Friday, July 20, 2012
Ask to Listen
In my Bible study this summer, we are studying the book "Soul Shift" by Steve DeNeff and David Drury. It's a wonderful study guide and I highly recommend it. It talks about the different shifts in our life that should occur when we start following after God whole-heartedly. One of my favorite chapters so far that we have studied is the shift from asking to listening.
So many times when we pray, we are asking things of God. "Help me with this," "Give me strength," "Be with these people," "Open this door," etc. And if we're not asking things of Him, we are often telling Him how we think it should be done. "Why did this happen? If only this other thing happened, then this would have fallen into place and I would be much happier."
And trust me, I'm way too guilty of the above mentions of prayer. But I think we all know deep down what the book Soul Shift has to tell us about prayer - that when we fully surrender, we will listen for the voice of God instead of covering it with our own. However, most people (myself included) think that God's voice comes as a loud booming voice that splits the clouds or something like that. But in all actuality, have you ever heard of that happening on a regular basis? No. But we know God speaks on a regular basis. So where does His voice come in?
It's in wherever you are willing to listen! God gives us certain talents to be able to minister. So why wouldn't He give us certain places to be more tuned into what He has to say? For instance, if you don't like music, God probably won't speak to you through music. But if you love social interaction, He'll probably speak to you through the words of other people. There are so many ways that God speaks to us, the question is - are we listening?
Have you ever had those moments where you have gotten a message from God? I got one just yesterday. I was wrestling with a subject and didn't know where to turn to in the Bible for further information. Slight bit of background: I normally type up all of my notes from sermons and Bible studies as a way to refresh myself on what I learned and to also have those notes at my fingertips should I ever need them. Well, I was typing up some older ones yesterday and came across a Bible study guide on the exact topic I was needing help with. The first verses it told me to read were in 1 Kings. So I told myself I would read 1 Kings after finishing typing up the study guide. But, of course, I forgot all about it until later when I was writing to a friend and wanted to include a Psalm, when I opened my Bible, the first page it fell to was the exact verses in 1 Kings that I had been prompted to read earlier.
Call it coincidence, call it chance, call it whatever you want. My ears were open and all I heard was - "read these verses!" I did in fact read them and learned a lot from them on the subject I needed help with and also found cross references to other places in the Bible on the same subject. That was God speaking to me.
Sometimes I hear Him in music lyrics, sometimes I hear Him through conversations with other people (or eavesdropping on them), and sometimes His words are simply a great pulling on my heart that I just know I have to heed to.
One of my favorite examples of this "heart pulling" way of God speaking is actually found in the book Soul Shift. This woman was driving her car one day and got the weirdest urge ever - to stop at the next gas station and hop on one foot in the soda pop isle. She thought about it a little bit but then dismissed it since it was so crazy. She drove past the next gas station but then had to turn around she was so convicted to go and do this. She got into the gas station and was relieved to find only the store worker was there so that she would only really embarrass herself in front of one person instead of several. Sure enough, she hopped on one foot in the soda pop isle and the kid looked at her funny. However, he looked at her, not with judging eyes, but with shocked ones. The woman apologizing for her crazy behavior, but the kid told her that she just performed a miracle. Apparently, the kid who worked in the store hated his life and was going to end it when he got off work. But he prayed to God and told Him that if He existed, He should send him a sign by having someone come in and hop on one foot in the soda pop isle before he got off work. The kid thanked the woman for showing him that God does exist and does care. She saved his life by following the voice of God, no matter how crazy it seemed.
However, there is one other key ingredient in discerning God's voice amongst all the others of this world. God's words are never contradictory to His teachings. Many times we misinterpret our instincts as God's word. We think that an instinct to sin is God's way of telling us that it's okay and He is a forgiving God. Nope. Not true. That's why studying our Bible is so important. The more we know about God and His teachings, the more our instincts really will turn into His voice. Soul Shift has an interesting perspective on this:
"Even after we have walked with God a while, we still tend to get our answers more from without than from within. Our problem is not that we seek the counsel of wise friends, follow good leaders, or trust informed voices. It is more that we seek only these things and never learn to hear the voice of God within us. We are afraid we will confuse it with our own voice, as if the two voices were always different. We ask, 'What would Jesus do?' but the voice within is saying, 'Why not get to the place where what you would do is the same things Jesus would do?'"
This shift is an amazing transformation in our lives. Soul Shift puts it this way:
"Before the shift, we ask, 'What does God want me to do?' After the shift, we listen to what God wants us to become.
Before the shift, we ask, 'God give me a sign' because we long for God to decide for us. After, we notice how God strengthens our wisdom and discernment to decide for ourselves.
Before the shift, we want God to give us more options and open doors. After, we want him to limit options and close doors.
Before the shift, we ask that God would make our decisions successful. After the shift, we allow God to set us apart, so that we might be more like him in our decisions.
Finally, before the shift, we inform God of our plans and ask him to move through our efforts. After shifting from Ask to Listen, we look for what God is already up to in our world, and we listen for how we might engage ourselves where he is already moving."
We hear God's voice all around us, but most times we just choose to write it off as something else. Many times we want to hear His voice, but are actually afraid of what He has to say. Don't be afraid! God has amazing things planned for your life. One of my all-time favorite verses is Jeremiah 29:11, "'For I know the plans for you,' says the Lord. 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.'" So listen for what God has planned in your life! Knowing Him, you won't be disappointed.
God Bless!
ChristianKid
So many times when we pray, we are asking things of God. "Help me with this," "Give me strength," "Be with these people," "Open this door," etc. And if we're not asking things of Him, we are often telling Him how we think it should be done. "Why did this happen? If only this other thing happened, then this would have fallen into place and I would be much happier."
And trust me, I'm way too guilty of the above mentions of prayer. But I think we all know deep down what the book Soul Shift has to tell us about prayer - that when we fully surrender, we will listen for the voice of God instead of covering it with our own. However, most people (myself included) think that God's voice comes as a loud booming voice that splits the clouds or something like that. But in all actuality, have you ever heard of that happening on a regular basis? No. But we know God speaks on a regular basis. So where does His voice come in?
It's in wherever you are willing to listen! God gives us certain talents to be able to minister. So why wouldn't He give us certain places to be more tuned into what He has to say? For instance, if you don't like music, God probably won't speak to you through music. But if you love social interaction, He'll probably speak to you through the words of other people. There are so many ways that God speaks to us, the question is - are we listening?
Have you ever had those moments where you have gotten a message from God? I got one just yesterday. I was wrestling with a subject and didn't know where to turn to in the Bible for further information. Slight bit of background: I normally type up all of my notes from sermons and Bible studies as a way to refresh myself on what I learned and to also have those notes at my fingertips should I ever need them. Well, I was typing up some older ones yesterday and came across a Bible study guide on the exact topic I was needing help with. The first verses it told me to read were in 1 Kings. So I told myself I would read 1 Kings after finishing typing up the study guide. But, of course, I forgot all about it until later when I was writing to a friend and wanted to include a Psalm, when I opened my Bible, the first page it fell to was the exact verses in 1 Kings that I had been prompted to read earlier.
Call it coincidence, call it chance, call it whatever you want. My ears were open and all I heard was - "read these verses!" I did in fact read them and learned a lot from them on the subject I needed help with and also found cross references to other places in the Bible on the same subject. That was God speaking to me.
Sometimes I hear Him in music lyrics, sometimes I hear Him through conversations with other people (or eavesdropping on them), and sometimes His words are simply a great pulling on my heart that I just know I have to heed to.
One of my favorite examples of this "heart pulling" way of God speaking is actually found in the book Soul Shift. This woman was driving her car one day and got the weirdest urge ever - to stop at the next gas station and hop on one foot in the soda pop isle. She thought about it a little bit but then dismissed it since it was so crazy. She drove past the next gas station but then had to turn around she was so convicted to go and do this. She got into the gas station and was relieved to find only the store worker was there so that she would only really embarrass herself in front of one person instead of several. Sure enough, she hopped on one foot in the soda pop isle and the kid looked at her funny. However, he looked at her, not with judging eyes, but with shocked ones. The woman apologizing for her crazy behavior, but the kid told her that she just performed a miracle. Apparently, the kid who worked in the store hated his life and was going to end it when he got off work. But he prayed to God and told Him that if He existed, He should send him a sign by having someone come in and hop on one foot in the soda pop isle before he got off work. The kid thanked the woman for showing him that God does exist and does care. She saved his life by following the voice of God, no matter how crazy it seemed.
However, there is one other key ingredient in discerning God's voice amongst all the others of this world. God's words are never contradictory to His teachings. Many times we misinterpret our instincts as God's word. We think that an instinct to sin is God's way of telling us that it's okay and He is a forgiving God. Nope. Not true. That's why studying our Bible is so important. The more we know about God and His teachings, the more our instincts really will turn into His voice. Soul Shift has an interesting perspective on this:
"Even after we have walked with God a while, we still tend to get our answers more from without than from within. Our problem is not that we seek the counsel of wise friends, follow good leaders, or trust informed voices. It is more that we seek only these things and never learn to hear the voice of God within us. We are afraid we will confuse it with our own voice, as if the two voices were always different. We ask, 'What would Jesus do?' but the voice within is saying, 'Why not get to the place where what you would do is the same things Jesus would do?'"
This shift is an amazing transformation in our lives. Soul Shift puts it this way:
"Before the shift, we ask, 'What does God want me to do?' After the shift, we listen to what God wants us to become.
Before the shift, we ask, 'God give me a sign' because we long for God to decide for us. After, we notice how God strengthens our wisdom and discernment to decide for ourselves.
Before the shift, we want God to give us more options and open doors. After, we want him to limit options and close doors.
Before the shift, we ask that God would make our decisions successful. After the shift, we allow God to set us apart, so that we might be more like him in our decisions.
Finally, before the shift, we inform God of our plans and ask him to move through our efforts. After shifting from Ask to Listen, we look for what God is already up to in our world, and we listen for how we might engage ourselves where he is already moving."
We hear God's voice all around us, but most times we just choose to write it off as something else. Many times we want to hear His voice, but are actually afraid of what He has to say. Don't be afraid! God has amazing things planned for your life. One of my all-time favorite verses is Jeremiah 29:11, "'For I know the plans for you,' says the Lord. 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.'" So listen for what God has planned in your life! Knowing Him, you won't be disappointed.
God Bless!
ChristianKid
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Be His Light
I realize I have not blogged in awhile, and I have missed it dearly! I knew pharmacy school would be busy and hard, but my goodness! Needless to say, blogging has taken a backseat to my schoolwork and my sad attempt to keep my sanity intact. However, I have some free time on my hands this morning, and I would love to share some thoughts with you!
Last week was my spring break. And, might I just say, what a gorgeous spring we are having! I wake up every morning and take in a deep breath of God's awesomeness. I am definitely loving this fantastic weather. Anyways, spring break is supposed to be just that - a break. However, on Monday morning of my spring break, I was greeted with devastating news. My beloved high school math teacher, ATA Taekwondo instructor, mentor and friend was killed in a head-on collision on his way to school that morning.
At first, I was simply in shock. Actually, I think I stayed that way for quite a few days. I just couldn't believe that someone I was so close to for many years was just gone in the blink of an eye. I've lost many relatives before, unfortunately though, none I was terribly close to. I had known this man since I was seven years old, and I had shared countless memories with him through the years. He also had an incredibly sound faith that was evident to everyone around him. He was such a wonderful man, and I was simply stunned that he was gone. Ironically enough, I was planning on going to see him the next day at school and tell him I got into pharmacy school. I know that he knows now anyways, and he's always proud of me, but I was incredibly sad that I wouldn't get the chance to say that in person and that I was never able to really talk about faith with him - something I would have loved to have done.
I found out late Monday night that almost 200 current kids from my old high school had driven a half hour away to go to his house and visit his family and share memories and tears with them. Two hundred people may not be a lot to you - but in a town of about 4,000 with a high school teaching around 300 students per year - that's an incredible amount of people!! I had never been so proud to call myself an alumnus of that high school before (and I was already very proud before then). A memorial facebook page was created that had over 600 members by the end of the day, with a new post about him popping up literally every five to ten seconds. He left such an impact on the students he taught, the Taekwondo people he encountered, his church family, his regular family, and pretty much every person who had the privilege to know him even just a little bit.
On Thursday night, there was a visitation at a church in his hometown that I went to go to. A friend went with me, and we headed over at about five o'clock. I had never been to a visitation before, and I didn't know what to expect. But no one could have expected this. Over 1,000 people stood in line for over 2 hours just to say a few words to his wife who is now left to raise three incredibly gorgeous little girls on her own. My friend and I arrived around five thirty and it was almost eight o'clock before I got to talk to his wife. What an incredible woman! She was laughing with people about memories of her husband, comforting those who were crying, and being one of the greatest lights for God I'd ever seen. His whole family was like that! They kept saying things like, "God bless you," "he's with his Father," "we'll see him again someday," and even encouraging people to follow in faith. It was such a wonderful testimony to a wonderful man of God and his awesome family and their unshaken faith.
The funeral was the next day at the high school, and I was asked to be a part of a special presentation to his family during the funeral. He was a 6th degree black belt and Master instructor for ATA Taekwondo. This is an incredible acheivement, and to commemorate such a wonderful man, the ATA leaders presented his family with an additional Taekwondo promotion: a 7th degree black belt Senior Master. This is a title only 1% of the 1% of students who become black belts achieve. It was an incredible honor to be one of the black belts (I'm a second degree black belt) under him asked to present his family with this. We also did a "21 board break salute" in his honor, as well. Although it was really awkward to have a church service in a high school auditorium, it was so wonderful; I loved every second of it. A guesstimated amount of 600-800 people were in attendance, and they had to do a live feed to a different room because the auditorium couldn't hold everyone.
I'm pretty sure I cried through the whole service and for several hours afterwards, but I was left with one major thing at the end of it all: I want my life to say that. Even though my teacher's life was cut short, he was still an incredible light for God as well as a superb, loving father. I realize now more than ever that you never know when you're coming up to the end of your road. And there is only one thing that matters at the end of the day: God. Even in death, my teacher was a wonderful light for God. I want to be that light, too. When people look at my life, I don't want them to see me. I want them to see how much good God has done for me and how much good He can do for them, too. I don't want to sit on the sidelines anymore. I don't want to keep making excuses, saying I'll do something for God after such-and-such gets done or once I have such-and-such.
We can't do this on our own, it takes God and His mercy to do that, but what more could you want from life?! And someday, when we've had our fill of this world, and God calls us home, we will spend eternity with Him. Eternity. With the greatest thing in the universe. I have no excuses for not being someone after God's heart anymore. There were none to begin with.
God Bless!
ChristianKid
Last week was my spring break. And, might I just say, what a gorgeous spring we are having! I wake up every morning and take in a deep breath of God's awesomeness. I am definitely loving this fantastic weather. Anyways, spring break is supposed to be just that - a break. However, on Monday morning of my spring break, I was greeted with devastating news. My beloved high school math teacher, ATA Taekwondo instructor, mentor and friend was killed in a head-on collision on his way to school that morning.
At first, I was simply in shock. Actually, I think I stayed that way for quite a few days. I just couldn't believe that someone I was so close to for many years was just gone in the blink of an eye. I've lost many relatives before, unfortunately though, none I was terribly close to. I had known this man since I was seven years old, and I had shared countless memories with him through the years. He also had an incredibly sound faith that was evident to everyone around him. He was such a wonderful man, and I was simply stunned that he was gone. Ironically enough, I was planning on going to see him the next day at school and tell him I got into pharmacy school. I know that he knows now anyways, and he's always proud of me, but I was incredibly sad that I wouldn't get the chance to say that in person and that I was never able to really talk about faith with him - something I would have loved to have done.
I found out late Monday night that almost 200 current kids from my old high school had driven a half hour away to go to his house and visit his family and share memories and tears with them. Two hundred people may not be a lot to you - but in a town of about 4,000 with a high school teaching around 300 students per year - that's an incredible amount of people!! I had never been so proud to call myself an alumnus of that high school before (and I was already very proud before then). A memorial facebook page was created that had over 600 members by the end of the day, with a new post about him popping up literally every five to ten seconds. He left such an impact on the students he taught, the Taekwondo people he encountered, his church family, his regular family, and pretty much every person who had the privilege to know him even just a little bit.
On Thursday night, there was a visitation at a church in his hometown that I went to go to. A friend went with me, and we headed over at about five o'clock. I had never been to a visitation before, and I didn't know what to expect. But no one could have expected this. Over 1,000 people stood in line for over 2 hours just to say a few words to his wife who is now left to raise three incredibly gorgeous little girls on her own. My friend and I arrived around five thirty and it was almost eight o'clock before I got to talk to his wife. What an incredible woman! She was laughing with people about memories of her husband, comforting those who were crying, and being one of the greatest lights for God I'd ever seen. His whole family was like that! They kept saying things like, "God bless you," "he's with his Father," "we'll see him again someday," and even encouraging people to follow in faith. It was such a wonderful testimony to a wonderful man of God and his awesome family and their unshaken faith.
The funeral was the next day at the high school, and I was asked to be a part of a special presentation to his family during the funeral. He was a 6th degree black belt and Master instructor for ATA Taekwondo. This is an incredible acheivement, and to commemorate such a wonderful man, the ATA leaders presented his family with an additional Taekwondo promotion: a 7th degree black belt Senior Master. This is a title only 1% of the 1% of students who become black belts achieve. It was an incredible honor to be one of the black belts (I'm a second degree black belt) under him asked to present his family with this. We also did a "21 board break salute" in his honor, as well. Although it was really awkward to have a church service in a high school auditorium, it was so wonderful; I loved every second of it. A guesstimated amount of 600-800 people were in attendance, and they had to do a live feed to a different room because the auditorium couldn't hold everyone.
I'm pretty sure I cried through the whole service and for several hours afterwards, but I was left with one major thing at the end of it all: I want my life to say that. Even though my teacher's life was cut short, he was still an incredible light for God as well as a superb, loving father. I realize now more than ever that you never know when you're coming up to the end of your road. And there is only one thing that matters at the end of the day: God. Even in death, my teacher was a wonderful light for God. I want to be that light, too. When people look at my life, I don't want them to see me. I want them to see how much good God has done for me and how much good He can do for them, too. I don't want to sit on the sidelines anymore. I don't want to keep making excuses, saying I'll do something for God after such-and-such gets done or once I have such-and-such.
We can't do this on our own, it takes God and His mercy to do that, but what more could you want from life?! And someday, when we've had our fill of this world, and God calls us home, we will spend eternity with Him. Eternity. With the greatest thing in the universe. I have no excuses for not being someone after God's heart anymore. There were none to begin with.
My teacher and his beautiful family - you will be sorely missed, Mr. Menn.
God Bless!
ChristianKid
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)